Don’t fall in love. Everyone wants to. I wanted to. I have before, as I’m sure lots of people do all the time. But, having “fallen” in love has led me to believe that you shouldn’t. Instead, you should choose to love. Choose to love someone just as flawed as you are, and choose to love them every second of every day.
Love requires superhuman sacrifice. It requires deliberate movement and constant courage through change. To love someone is to fight for them when they continue to push you away. It requires you to get rid of the scoreboard, the preconceived expectations. It is built on the notion that your feelings, thoughts and actions are voluntarily contingent on your beloved and vice versa. Love is the ultimate step out of oneself in order to discover the soul of another.
This discovery can be tragic and scary, but mostly beautiful. When you choose the path of discovery that is love, you will tread through neuroses and darkness entirely new to you. You will sit and walk and thrash through the insecurities of your beloved, alongside your beloved. These insecurities may be small, or they may be big enough to break your heart as they did theirs. But, this journey is purely redemptive. I promise. Through it, you have the power to show another person that they are not alone and never have to be again.
To be in love with someone, you must first believe that YOU are completely worthy: despite and because of your mistakes, your past, and especially because of your imperfect nature. Wake up every day and train your mind to stop trying to convince you otherwise. Wake up and train it to focus instead on grasping the incredible idea that humans can love each other past pain. You must believe in your own unchanging, infinite value so that you can embrace someone else’s. This takes conscious effort and tireless determination.
Falling is accidental. There is nothing accidental about dying to yourself for the sake of another. Don’t fall in love. Choose it.